The Genie Coefficient

Corrado took a stroll along a crowded beach. His daydreams of flirting with the various girls that walked past him were rudely interrupted when he caught his toe on something sticking up through the sand. He hopped around massaging his violated digit, then spotted the obstruction that had caused his inconvenience.

His fingers dug through the sand. From it he pulled a small teapot-shaped object, gold in colour. He rubbed it with the palm of his hand.

From the spout whistled the tune of an unholy wind, then smoke poured forth, billowing and swirling into a column of cloud near where he stood. From this supernatural mist emerged a man of green and purple complexion. Onlookers gasped.

“You have summoned me,” said the apparition. “I can grant you five thousand, four hundred and two wishes.”

“That many?” said Corrado.

“Yes.”

Well, then he didn’t have to think too hard…

“I wish to have a date.”

A small red fruit appeared in his hand. People laughed.

“That’s not what I meant! I wish to have a girl fall for me.”

A few steps away, a girl tripped and shrieked face-first into the sand.

“No, no, no! What are you doing?” spluttered Corrado.

“Ah, sorry,” said the genie. “I’m not very good. You see the number of wishes is inversely proportional to a genie’s skill…”

“Right,” interrupted Corrado. “Yes. I get it. I wish the Gini coefficient was zero.”

The genie beamed. “Thank you! Your three wishes are up.”

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6 thoughts on “The Genie Coefficient

  1. marymtf

    Aww, that was almost the best take on the three wishes deal that I have ever read. The other and I can’t remember the author. Could be Harlan Ellison or Isaac Asimov. For every wish our hero’s makes his worst enemy gets the same. The last wish was an absolute killer. Won’t spoil it for you in case you stumble across it.

    Reply
    1. Mercilo Daviss Post author

      Thanks! I did read a lot of Asimov as a child, but not Ellison I think. I recall Asimov had a demon called Azazel, but I don’t remember a genie. Perhaps you’re thinking of Ellison’s “Djinn No Chaser”?

      Can anyone else confirm?
      -MD

      Reply
      1. marymtf

        Asimov for children, Ellison for adults. Give him a go. Not knowing was driving me crazy so I looked it up. The story I was thinking of was called, ‘Same to you Doubled’ by Robert Sheckley’. Whatever his wish the worst enemy was going to get double.

  2. Pingback: The Genie Coefficient | akleslieprice

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